Like a Ton of Bricks...

The past catches up to me occasionally... nothing ever really comes of it, but I can't help feeling nostalgic sometimes.

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Work has really been getting to me lately. In kind of a 'nothing and at the same time, everything' way... and its really too exhausting to explain. For now, I'll just leave it at: 'Depending on how things go, I may or may not have a job in the weeks to come.' That's not to say I want to be fired, I'm just saying it may happen.

I'm really tired of being the one who gets blamed when someone else does not complete their job correctly...

maybe more later... we'll see.


(You are the best bead on my string, babe, you make everything so much better! <3)

The rhythm of a strangers skin

8am
So there has been a really wonderful string of things going on in my life recently, but with those really good things quite a few not-so-good ones seem to be tacked along at the end as well. Its nothing seriously bad, just a lot of little things that have slowly been accumulating over the last few months... most of which could have been avoided had I taken care of them in a timely manner. As it is now, I just kinda want to cry... a lot... damn being a woman.

1pm
Maybe I'm just stressed... I don't know. Most everything is getting on my nerves though. This is most noticeable though in that my tolerance for people over-explaining or repeatedly telling me the same thing is just not there. Usually, I am a very patient person, and will listen to someone explain the same thing over and over, since they apparently think it is important for me to know, but today just isn't one of those days... I can't do it.

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Just an update: I am awkward... always. I really try not to be, but it is definitely a challenge. My body just doesn't seem to move like I want/expect it to a lot of the time. To help with this, my wonderful roommate is teaching me how to dance better... both she and I can already tell this is going to be a long and arduous process, but I can already see some improvement! I'm so excited! :)

"Do you want it? Do you want me?
I want it, it is you, you are where I want to be."

Wow, you have sexy knees...

"Really, how often does someone look at you and say
Wow, you have sexy knees!"?

In case you were not a part of my office conversation 4.5min ago, let me throw some back story with this...

I started playing roller derby a little over a year ago, and have skated since I was 3yrs old. Despite this, I am exceedingly clumsy and end up being hit down to the floor... a lot. It may just be because I am learning how to be a jammer(point scorer) and therefore have more girls coming after me, but even still I fall more than I should.

So, thanks to the charity bout I was a part of last weekend, my knee is fairly messed up. I can walk on it, but cannot put pressure on either side or even think about twisting the joint... it is quite swollen.
So, being a derby girl, I like to show off my bruises and injuries to people for some reason, and the girl I share a "pod" with at work and I have developed a good enough working relationship for this to be acceptable.
After showing my knees to a few people though, I am realizing that they are just not pretty. My delightful pod buddy's response to this concern is the quote above. While she didn't make made my insecurities vanish... but she did come damn close. :)

Now here I am, I am the one

Well, its time.

I feel that I have reached a point in my life that regardless of my views about internet blogging or keeping a diary/journal/or whatever, I need an outlet that doesn't necessitate me having to interact with others while still being able to sort out my thoughts... so here I am... with you. We'll see how this goes...

Unfortunately, I can see this is going to start slowly... work is beckoning for my return...